Sons-in-law, the harassed lot

There are stories and jokes about sons-in-law who live with their parents- in-law and do the household chores uncomplainingly. If the parents-in-law do not have a male issue, they expect their son-in-law to live with them. They approve of only such alliances who will agree to that condition in arranged marriages. The story of Bharavi, the great Sanskrit poet who wrote Kiratarjuneeyam is a good example of it. Bharavi was an erudite in Sanskrit grammar and poetics. He was greatly honoured by many kings. Whenever he said that he won great laurels from this king or that king, his father made light of him and observed that he had to improve a lot. Bharavi, unable to bear the insults, wanted to kill his own father. On a dark night, he lurked behind the door of his father's bedroom, with a sword in hand. Oblivious of his presence, his mother said to her husband angrily, "dear, our son is sad because you always belittle his achievements. Could you please explain?" Bharavi's father, retiring to his bed, said,"dear, it is not that I am not happy with what our son has achieved so far. But, listen to me, if I praise his accomplishments, he will become complacent which will stunt his growth as a great poet. Hence I pretend to be unhappy, so that he will put more and more efforts into what he learns." Bharavi, who overheard the conversation between his father and mother, was repentant. He threw away the sword and begged his father's pardon, confessing to his evil intention to kill his father. He asked his father to punish him severely. The father patted Bharavi's head affectionately and ordered him to go and live with his parents-in-law for one year. Bharavi could not understand the purport of his father's order. He thought that it was a blessing in disguise but not a punishment. Accordingly, he left for his father-in-law's house with minimum paraphernalia. He was greatly welcomed by his in-laws. Sumptuous meals and refreshments were arranged for a week. But when there were no signs of his leaving, he was given simple meals and refreshments. At the end of second week, the refreshments were stopped. Three months passed and Bharavi did not leave his in-laws house. The cowherd was dismissed and he was asked to graze the cows in the fields. Another three months passed and the washerman and the maid servant were dismissed and Bharavi was asked to wash the clothes and scrub the vessels. Just before the expiry of one year, he was even ordered to make beds for his parent-in-law and brothers-in-law. Now Bharavi fully realized the inner meaning of his father's order. If this were the plight of an India son-in-law for over staying with his in-laws, his western counterparts do not lag behind.

In an English county a mother-in-law was gored to death by her domestic bull. All the sons-in-law of the village flocked to her funeral. It was not that they revered her. It was because they vied with each other to buy the bull, hoping that the bull would do a similar job to their mothers-in-law! Hubert in Dick Wingert cartoons is a hapless son-in-law. Once his mother-in-law orders him to fetch a doormat, which he forgets. Then she wipes her legs with his neatly pressed coat. Poor Hubert puts up with the insult. He doesn't dare question her act. When a poor husband returns home after strenuous work at the office, his beaming wife breaks the news that they were shortly going to become three. When the hubby thinks that his wife is expecting a baby to make them three, she says that her mother would be going over there to live with them permanently. The instant result - the husband collapses on the chair. So, beware of cantankerous mothers-in-law. When you try to find out whether the bride you choose will make you happy or not, please ascertain whether your would be mother-in-law is a good one or an evil one!