Monday, July 25, 2022

 The Twilight Tragedy 

J.L. Narasimha Rao

My father wired me not to risk a journey in the cyclonic storm.  “Your absence at your sister’s wedding will be fully justified,”  he said in the telegragram. My friends too persuaded me to cancel my journey to Madras.

  But I brushed aside their warnings. The cyclonic storm was a God-given opportunity for me to show my adventurous spirit in driving and possibly create a world record by covering three hundred miles in less than four hours in the inclement weather.

  It was past midnight when I took out my Scuderia Ferrari from the garage. In fifteen minutes I was on the national highway, driving at break-neck speed. 

  It was raining heavily and the wind was howling. The depression in the Bay of Bengal which had formed the previous day, intensified into a cyclonic storm with winds blowing at great velocity along the coast. I looked out through the windscreen.  Fields were submerged in the flood waters and giant trees were lying uprooted on both sides of the highway. I saw a thatched hut being washed away in the waters like a boathouse in a flooded lake. I thought I heard desperate cries from the hut. ‘Nature’s fury” I muttered, “nobody can pacify. Yet man’s brave struggle against it has been going on since prehistoric age and it has been a continuous process.

  Suddenly I applied brakes as a ghost-like figure in a long rain coat waved its hand to stop my car. But, to my surprise and joy it was not a ghost but a damsel in distress. 

  “The cyclone…I am scared.”she cried incoherently. “Please drop me at a safe place. Your kind help…”her obliging words were drowned in the ear piercing crash of a tree in the fields nearby.  She pulled open the door with all her strength and jumped into the car.

  “Where are you going?” I asked her.

  “Madras.”she replied

  “Me too,” I said and started the car.

  The whistling wind, the rain and the flood with a charming girl by my side lent a romantic atmosphere to the place.

  She took off her raincoat and leaned back on the seat, quite exhausted. She was panting for breath and her bosom heaved in perfect rhythm.  Driving the car, I cast a sidelong glance at her. I thought that she had become conscious that I was devouring her beauty with my eyes. She drew the pullover round her shoulders. “Marooned here?” I looked at her.

  As if in an answer, she began to cry. 

 I was taken aback and asked myself whether I had said something improper.

 “The bus”she said between sobs,”I was travelling in, washed away in the floods I jumped out and swam to a boulder near the road.

  “You are the lone survivor then,” I said, slowing down the car to avoid hitting a carcass, being washed across the road. 

  “Yes,”she said, “ I started from Vijayawada by bus. I was going to Madras to join my parents. When the bus crossed Chirala, it was swept away in the flood waters.”

  “And you escaped with the raincoat and the pullover as your only baggage,” I completed her harrowing account.

  “It’s horrible,”she hid her face in her hands. “The bus was full with passengers but no one was left alive but me.”

  “Thank God, You’ve survived,”I said, “please try to get over the shock.”


  It was past midnight and the heavy downpour continued to spatter the windscreen of the car. I felt terribly hungry. I stopped the car by the side of the road.

  “Why, why've you stopped the car? ”she said anxiously. 

  I understood her instinctive womanly fright.

  “Don’t worry,'' I chuckled, “I am not a movie villain to harm you. I have stopped because I am very hungry.”

 “ Sorry,”she said regretfully,”I didn’t mean to hurt you. But I am a girl, I was afraid.?”

 I removed the lid of the lunch box. I put the idli and dosa into two plates and offered one to her.  “Thank you,”she tasted the idli and said. “It’s very delicious.”

   As she was eating, I stole a look at her face. She had wide eyes and a long, attractive nose. Her lips were rosy and when she drank water, her white teeth glistened. “She was born of a great sculptor’s chisel,” I thought. The numbing pain which a man experiences in the presence of a beauty incarnate, had seized me. Many girls had shaken hands with me, some of them had even given me bear hugs whenever I won a motor race. But this was the first time I was stirred by romantic sentiments. I felt an yearning to claim her forever.

  “The idli and dosa are very tasty,”she said.

  “I have an excellent cook,”I said, “she prepared them. When she leaves next month, I have to cook for myself. I should admit that I am a very bad cook. I hope a sweet angel enters into my life and makes home for me.”

  She did not reply.

  I thought that she got the intended meaning of my words. “I tend to be playful at times,”I said, breaking the silence, “hope you’re not offended.”

  “Oh, it’s nothing,”she smiled, “There is nothing wrong with a bachelor when he says that he wants to get married.” I felt that a thousand roses bloomed when she smiled, flashing her beautiful teeth. 

  I was happy. I thought that she was disposed towards me favourably. 

  We finished with our lunch. I poured  steaming coffee into two cups from the flask. “Please have it,”I said, “we’re dying of chill.”

  Sipping at the coffee she choked. I patted her back to make her normal again. “Sorry,” I said, “I have taken liberties.”

  “You say or do something and then say ‘sorry’ pretending to be innocent.” she smiled, putting down the empty cup.

  We resumed our journey in the hurricane. 

  I switched on the tape recorder beside the dashboard and noisy pop music blared out.

  “Don’t you have any cassette of Carnatic music?” She asked.

  “I shook my head in the negative.”

  “Why?”she persisted, “don’t you like it?”

  “It’s not that,” I replied, shifting the gear. Classical music, whether it is Carnatic or Hindustani, is soft and arouses sweet pangs in the listener. It lures you into a void, from where you’re little inclined to come out. It is like the poetry of Shelley, beautiful but painful. But Pop music is the vigour of life.  It sweeps you off your feet in mad excitement; and I need it very much.”


  “No, you’re mistaken,”she said in defence of her argument, “have you ever heard the Kadanakutuhala Raga in Carnatic music? The Thyagaraya’s symphony - Sri Raghuvamsa Sudhambudhi Chandra…Swamy Raa…Raa '' was set to this raga. This raga literally sounds like war music. Kadanakuthuhalam means enthusiastic to jump into the battlefield. It swells your bosom with war spirits. Anyway, opinions differ.”

  I spoke praising the background music of the baby elephant walk in Hatari and the music of For A Few Dollars More and The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.

   We were silent for a while. “ I didn’t think,”she said breaking the silence,” that a playful boy like you had such a profound interior.”

  I did not reply. I drove on for about an hour regardless of the fury of nature. Suddenly I applied the brakes and brought the car to a halt. An uprooted huge tree lay across the road.

  “Oh! Bad luck,”I muttered and got down the car. “It will take at least half an hour to drag the tree to the side of the tree, which means we’ll reach Madras half an hour late.

  “No, we won't,” she shook her head in the negative,” A presentiment tells me that I will not see my parents again.”

  “Nonsense,” I said a little impatiently, “this is a race car in perfect condition and I had won Sholavaram and Himalayan motor races last with this car. Once we remove the obstruction, it is just three hours more to reach Madras. Once we get into the car, you can begin the countdown. Cheer up and lend me a helping hand.”  Like a gallant knight I tried to refresh her spirits.

  We tried to drag the tree off the road but it did not move even an inch.  While we were thus struggling with the fallen tree, she uttered a startled cry and clung to me. She pointed her finger to the bridge. The dead bodies of a mother and child clasped in each other’s arms in fear were being washed away in the flood water under the bridge.

  “Don’t be afraid,” I said to her, “I am with you.” 

  Then the biological instinct took hold of me and I held her in a tight embrace.  She also crouched into me with fear. I brushed my face against her conch shaped neck. “What is your name dear?” I whispered into her ear.

  “Prema,”she said and rested her head on my shoulder.  I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her lips ardently. Her lips were warm and sweet. There was death and destruction around us. But we were not disturbed. We soured into a glorious and romantic world which seemed to last forever. When our lips touched, time stopped for an instant and the past, the present and the future were blended into a beautiful, single whole. Caressing her back, I gently ran my fingers to the knot of her skirt in the folds of her saree. She gave a jerk and moved away as if she received a shock. “Not now,”she said., “it’s only after we were united by the holy fire.”

  I was hurt. I was angry with myself. I was angry with her also as she denied me the pleasure of sex. Yet her refusal increased my love and respect for her. There is nothing wrong in wanting to be pure till marriage. 

  A distant thunder and the crash of a tree in the fields brought us back into the real world. We did not speak to each other for a while. I walked back to the car and opened the dicky.. I took out a rope from  the dicky and uncoiled it. I fastened one end of the rope to the bumper of the car and the other end to the trunk of the tree. “Prema,” I said,”You stay away while I pull away the tree. If you sit in the car you may hit the dashboard.”

  As she stood under another tree to take cover from the rain, I started the car and ran it back and forth in a zig zag away. Gradually the big tree was giving way. After a few more pulls, the tree moved aside.

  Through the rear view mirror, I looked at Prema with a chivalrous spirit. 

  Standing under the tree, she waved at me in applause. Suddenly the tree began to shake dangerously in the strong winds. I shouted at her to move away but she could not hear me in the howling wind. I sprang out of the car and ran to her. But it was too late. The deadly tree crashed down crushing Prema under its wild branches.

  The sun hobbled onto the eastern horizon.  The fury of nature continued unabated. Prema lay dead in my arms. Tears flooded down my cheeks. I gazed at her. Death had not yet spoiled  her 

Beauty. She looked like a sleeping angel tired after tripping all the fairy worlds. The thought of love and marriage had not crossed my mind before I met her.But now I called her, Prema my love, my wife emotionally again and again. I imagined that we had been man and wife for several lives. I kissed her lips which were still warm. “Farewell my wife,” I said and laid her on the side of the road. I sat cross legged beside her.

  My grandfather was a purohit and initiated me into the mantras including those of the  apara karma at a tender age. Now those mantras welled up from my lips. I cupped the rain water into my hands and performed her last rites with all the love of a husband to the soul of his departed wife. 

  I walked to the bridge and stood over the wide parapet wall with the body of Prema in my arms. Countless bodies of humans were journeying through the flood of death to the destination they had come from. I slid her body into the waters and watched it being carried away in the stream gradually out of my sight.

  I walked back to my car listlessly and reversed it into the void.


Tuesday, July 12, 2022

 Where Love Is

I had no inclination to write about the love story of Satish, when he begged for it. But by the time I resolved to write about him, he had simply vanished, leaving me in the void without a good friend.

  It had all happened in my early thirties, when I used to turn out cart loads of fiction.

  When I recollect Satish now, I cannot help but a tear in my eyes.

  On that day Satish charged into my study. “Rao” he said, panting “don’t disappoint me this time, you must pen the beautiful love story of Sarada and myself.”

  The moment he hopped in, I guessed the purpose of his visit. Satish and Sarada were happily married for five years and since then he had been pestering me to write about their love story. I tried in vain to explain to him many times that a writer needs an impulse from within to produce anything worthwhile.

  “Ish” Satish used to sigh; ‘Rao, whatever you say is Greek and Latin to me. Aren’t many others spinning out boy meets girl stuff.? Our, on the other hand, is a true love story. Can’t you realize the charm of it.?”

  Helping himself to a cup of coffee, Satish resumed, “Rao, do you know what happened the other day? While returning from the office I lost control of my bicycle and hit a scooter. Of course it was a providential escape and I escaped with minor bruises. I got the bruises dressed up at a clinic and  went home. Believe it or not, when Sarada saw my bandaged arms and forehead, she shrieked and fainted. I bet Rao, any other woman in her place would have been just worried for a while. That’s all. But great love only can cause a terrible reaction as Sarada’s. Rao, will you accept now that my Sarada loves me with all her heart and soul? In what way is our love inferior to that of Romeo and Juliet and Laila and Majnu?”

  His tone was charged with emotion. But for me they seemed just man and wife devoted to each other, like many other couples. Nothing more than that. But for fear of losing his friendship, I did not tell Satish how I felt. So I said soothingly, “Satish, right now I am working on a novel. On finishing it, I will think about your story definitely.”

  Later he was transferred to Delhi. When I accompanied him to the station to see him off, he entreated me again to take up his story. I smiled and assured him.

  Years passed by. Meanwhile the letters which I used to receive from him once in a fortnight gradually ceased. On my part, I also forgot Satish and the story I promised to him. Meanwhile  I suffered severe setbacks in my writing career as publishers refused to publish my works, complaining that they were stereotyped. 

  But in due course of time the wheel of fortune turned in my favor again. I caught the attention of the public with a classical novel and won the Academy award for the same. I left for Delhi to receive the award.

  On my way back, when the train halted at Bitragunta, a man in shabby clothes and a long beard got into the compartment and sat opposite to me. He put the suitcase on his lap and began to drum on it. “Love is illusory,” he muttered under his breath. Suddenly his eyes were fixed on mine. “Hello Rao,” he said.

  I stared at the unfamiliar figure and it took me a good minute to recognize the emaciated, careworn man as Satish. “Satish, It is you.” I cried.. “Where were you all these years?”

  For a while he did not speak. Then he began to talk as if talking to himself. “Rao,”he said, “life is like a detective story with a lot of suspense in it. You do not know what will happen the next moment.”

  He stroked at his unkempt beard and gave a little laugh. “Last year when I was in Delhi, on a fine sunny evening I was sitting with Sarada with a cup of coffee in our garden. “Honey,” Sarada said, sipping at the tea, before I had met you and married you I thought that my parents were everything to me, But now”she added looking into my eyes adoringly, “It is you, you only what means everything to me. You’re my world. There is nothing else.”

  I was overwhelmed with love for her. I held her tight in my arms and kissed her again and again.  Suddenly we heard a hissing sound. We were startled and got up. A white king cobra of about six feet was standing on its tail with a raised hood. It was ready to strike. I let a cold sweat run all over my body. I was perplexed for a while. But soon I was myself and threw the table cloth on the dangerous hood of the serpent.  As luck would have it, a snake charmer was passing by. I gave him ten rupees. He enticed the snake into his basket and took it away. 

  When it was all over I looked around for Sarada. I thought that she was by my side all the while. But she was not there. She had locked herself in the house safely and came out only after I had convinced her that the snake was not there any more. Then she came out. She hugged me and kissed,”Honey,”she said, “how fortunate I am! God heard my prayers. You’re saved.”

  I disengaged myself from her serpentine embrace. I wished I hugged the cobra instead. I thought that at the moment of impending death she was by my side. But she was not.It was a deadly shock for me from which I could not get over forever.

  The train stopped at an outer signal near Secunderabad station.

  I saw nothing unusual in what Sarada had done. Instead I pitied Satish for having not realized the basic instinct of human nature. When death stares straight into your eyes, self preservation comes first and every other thing is secondary. I closed my eyes and pondered for a while as to how to explain to Satish this elementary truth in a delicate way.

  When I opened my eyes, the seat opposite to me was vacant; Satish was no longer there. Through the window I saw Satish disappear into the darkness gradually. Looking at his diminishing figure, I muttered to myself that I must write about Satish and this is it.