LUCKY IS HE WHO HAS A NAGGING WIFE

Lucky is he who has a nagging wife. A man however brave he might be is always scared of a termagant wife. Socrates could rise to such philosophical heights because his wife Xanthippe was an eternally quarrelling wife. Once Socrates’ better-half sorry his bitter-half nagged him for a long time till her mouth was swollen and refused to cooperate with her to utter anymore foul words. Though her mouth was tired, her hands were still active. She brought from the kitchen a big vessel with water and poured it on the Philosopher’s head. Contrary to her expectation, Socrates kept his cool and went with lecturing his disciples. But one of his disciples could not bear the sight of it. He became angry. Socrates, sensing his mood, observed that it is but natural for the thundering cloud to rain. Such was the way of Socrates to handle a nagging wife. At another time Socrates was hit violently. He took it with equanimity. Many philosophers of the day round the world believe that Socrates would not have started his famous philosophical enquiry to ti  (what is this) if his wife did not hit him on the head with a ladle. And if she were a meek and devoted wife, the world would have been deprived of a great philosopher.

Even British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli was also a miserable victim of his wife’s nagging. History remembers that he threw himself heart and soul into politics just to escape his wife’s nagging. When he was elected Prime Minister of Britain and the commonwealth countries under her rule, the ruling and the opposition MPs as well rejoiced over the occasion but not Disraeli. Poor thing, he was trembling all over and his heart was pounding against his chest. His wife’s commandment was that he should be home as soon as the parliamentary proceedings were over every day. But that day he was held up unfortunately. At last he started home. Long experience had taught him that that whenever he was late, his wife would be standing at the front door, her face as red as mid-summer hot sun. So he parked his car a few blocks of houses away and sneaked into his house through the back door. He changed his dress and sat before the dining table. Though it was chill outside, he was profusely sweating. He was unable to bear the mental tension. He was waiting for his wife’s violent outburst and wanted it be over at the earliest, so that he could concentrate on the supper. But her stony silence was torturing him. She stood beside the dining table with an unmistakable glint in her eyes. Disraeli had become even shakier. His hand was trembling and the fork in it too. He was too confused to differentiate what is what in the dish. At last the lady opened her mouth,’ why late dear?’ This seemingly simple interrogative was the fore runner of a great battle in which the winner was always Mrs.Disraeli. Now, Disraeli bent

his head. The fork fell from his hand. He got up. He was still shaking all over and perspiring as if he were taking bath.. He mentally concentrated on great heroes who fought valiantly and won bloody battles. And he opened his mouth. ‘Sorry dear,’ he said. `They…ah…it is those MPS who elected me the Prime Minister. Please don’t look at me like that. I didn’t ask them. The ruling party MPs elected me the leader on their own.’

`Does it mean that you would be late again?’ thundered the lady.

`No dear,’ Disraeli promised and saved the day. History says that he had kept his promise to the last day of his office.

Some great men are afraid of their wives even though they are not nagging. Once Motilal Nehru (father of the first Indian Prime minister Jawaharlal Nehru), and C.Rajagopalachari (the last Governor General of India when India attained Independence) visited Gandhiji late at night at his Sabarmati Ashram in Gujarat. Both of them requested Gandhiji to provide them with some eatables. It was One’O clock past midnight and Gandhiji’s wife Kasturibai was fast asleep in a corner of the ashram. Gandhiji was reluctant to wake her up. He was a little afraid that she might be annoyed if woken up at that odd hour. So he stealthily walked into the kitchen and tried his hand at preparing chapattis with wheat flour. But he dropped the pan on the floor and the clanking noise startled Kasturba out of her sleep. On seeing the two distinguished guests, she understood what Gandhiji was up to in the kitchen. She smiled at Gandhiji and asked him to engage the guests in conversation for sometime. And walked into the kitchen.

If I were not accused of digression, I would like to share a few things about nagging children. It is fully justified when a child nags his/her parents for something, which is within the limits of the wallet of the parent. To make an honest confession, the writer of this piece had got a glittering verdant green little tricycle when he was five, after a marathon nagging of 15 hours.